Self-Love: Choose Happiness First

She was in middle school and she use to be considered one of the bullies in her 6th and 7th grade class. At that time, she didn’t really look at herself and think she was one, but this little girl knew people looked at her as a bully and probably wanted to write “Bully,” right across her forehead. Honestly, she couldn’t even blame them, looking at who she was in middle school hurts her heart; all she saw was a broken little girl that had low self-esteem. So, in order for her to feel good about herself she felt the need to bully and be mean to the people around her. As women we face so many challenges in our life, loving ourselves is one of them. The little 14-year-old girl didn’t love herself, in fact she hated herself; she hated her body, she hated her face, there was nothing positive she had to say to herself.

Fast forward to now, the girl couldn’t tell you what sparked freshman year of college for her, but she began to turn into this young lady that had nothing but love for herself. She had so much respect for herself, and she started to walk with her head held high. Confidence was the new thing for her.

That young lady is me. I couldn’t even tell you how bad I would feel when I started to think about the 14-year-old mean girl. There were so many thoughts running through my head. There was that little girl in me who wanted to apologize so bad to the people I hurt, but I felt too embarrassed to even reach out and say something. Here’s my moment, if you are reading this, I want to send love and my deepest apologies to those I offended in the past. I wish nothing but blessings on your life and I pray to God you can forgive me. 

Why was my story necessary to tell? Because I didn’t love myself at the time which caused me to mistreat the people around me to make myself feel better. Have you ever had a time in your life where you didn’t love yourself? What did it feel like for you? How did it affect you? And what did you do to change it? Meditate and reflect on these questions. Your happiness comes first; and yes, it may sound so simple, but it is a lot harder than it seems. I do think as women this is something that we all need to learn in order to move on with our lives. We need it in so many situations whether its your boyfriend, your spouse, friendships, co-workers, family etc. So why not try to master it? 

Step one:

This starts with looking at yourself in the mirror and picking out every flaw you can find then smile and embrace them. This may sound so cliché but when you learn to embrace your flaws you start to love them and not pay them any mind because what’s the point? Instead of looking at your flaws and getting sad or upset; look at them and smile, thank God for creating you. Never forget we are all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Understand that God makes no mistakes which means he didn’t make a mistake with you. We are made in God’s image and in his likeness (Genesis 1:26-27).

Step two:

Write down the characteristics that you dislike about yourself. Why is this necessary? You can’t fully love yourself if you have negative traits you feel you need to fix. This step could be a process because once you go down your soul-searching journey you will start to learn more about yourself. Then, once you learn more things to work on you will focus on those things for however long you need. You will begin to love yourself after seeing how far you’ve come.

I hope I was able to help you understand what it means to love yourself. These are easy steps to take and go through but in the end they will be worth it. I want you to master loving yourself and having self-love because a woman with confidence is a dangerous woman. The little girl in middle school didn’t love herself and it reflected on how she treated the people around her but I’m not that little girl anymore. That little girl was essential to my growth and who I am today. To remind you, I’m still human therefore, I’m not perfect. If self-love is something you are struggling with today, choose happiness and start your journey in working on yourself. I promise you it will change your life.

How can I pray for you? Write it down in the comments and don’t forget to like and subscribe.

Jada Olivia 

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